Song of Wed. March 8

I'm sorry, made you feel sorry Last night, I came home too late And you were there waiting I know, it's easy to call I guess I wasn't thinking of you It's not that I don't care You should know me better by now I am sorry if I made you lonely and sad I am sorry I made you feel bad What I'm trying to say I'm not always that way So love me for all that I am I know (I know) I often forget To say that I love you (that I love you) And yes (and yes) I truly regret The times that I might have hurt you that way It's not that I don't care You should know me better by now I am sorry if I made you lonely and sad I am sorry I made you feel bad What I'm trying to say I'm not always that way So love me for all that I am True, I may defend the things I do Though I know deep down I've done wrong But when the heat comes down it's you (It's you) that keeps me going on For all that I am I'm sorry, made you feel sorry Trying to say that I'm not always that way Love me for all I am sorry if I made you lonely and sad I am sorry I made you feel bad What I'm trying to say I'm not always that way So love me for all that I am (For all that I am) That I am (For all that I am)

Yep. that is the song of now. I just wish someone would say that to me. I mean my friends are making me feel this way and so is my family and *sigh* Marc. I mean he has made me feel this way for a LONG time but now it is really hitting hard because my friends and family are doing too. *sigh again* I feel so lonely. And tomorrow I have to do a report on alientation and lonelieness in Ender's Game. And it might make me cry because I know EXACTLY how it feels. (to be alieanated and lonely I mean) My life just sucks right now. and a few select people can make it better. but they are not! They are making it worse.

Oh, and something I forgot to add to my list of "why I hate you's" : "I hate you because you have a crush on Marc." Isn't that sad? I actually got that from some people. It's not my fault my hormones are going crazy! I mean GEEZE!!!! I am a 14 year old girl. My hormones are GONNA do that. And it's not like those people haven't had crushes like that before! ERRRRGGGG!!! I just feel so stressed to end the crush and that is only making it worse! I think Delilah was right when she said I should just let it go. I should just go through with the crush and let it be done with. I mean it will be a lot easier to get over him I am not thinking about it right? Even if that is when he goes off to college. He won't be a part of my daily life. Like I won't have to see his sexy car or him in the morning. It will be SOOO much easier. Ya know? That's ok you don't have to! OH and like this afternoon I was blowing kisses to the car because ya know it's a mini cooper and I have wanted one LONG before him. and so I was blowing kisses to it and saying I loved it and he walked by. I was like "*blows kiss* I love you!!!! I love you sooo much *makes kissy sound while blows another kiss*" and he looked at me like "OMG!!! You little loser! What the hell are you doing?!?!?!" I felt like he thought I was talking to him. I wasn't! But oh well. I mean that is going to happen in my life. because it is MY life. It just sucks. But like I said.... oh well!

on a happier note: Meagan is a witch. Mr. Christan knower of all things (exept politics) said so! We hung her and cut open her body and had DaVinci draw pictures of her insides!!!!! FUN!!!! That is really my WHOLE happier note! SAD!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and I had nightmares about Mr. Christian in the shower making moaning noises. DON'T ASK!!!! I AM WARNING YOU!!! DON'T ASK!!!!!!!

Bye people... I am going to get ready for bed now. even though I will not be able to sleep because I will be so sad. ! (wow... I can't believe I ACTUALLY used a smiley! HAHA! Don't get used to it y'all!)