I'm going to be on TV someday

So for a while I've been obsessed with TV. I mean, beyond what a normal person is... Like I love TV more than anyone should love TV. So I've been thinking... Since I love TV so much... why am I not looking for a career in it? I mean, I'm constantly pretending I'm on some talk show talking about some theoretical role I have on some show... but why do I never say that's what I want to do? Well today, I am. I am finally saying I want to be an actress on TV. I mean, I'll continue with school obviously... and I'll continue with my dreams of psychology... but I'll also try for a career in acting. I feel like it's a shallow dream to want to be an actress... but it's my dream. And I do have a back up plan. One that I love very much. I love psychology and I can't wait to be a therapist. I want to help teenagers so bad. And I will write my book. And it will be a hit. But I will also be an actress... Or at least try. I mean, how will I know if I'm not any good at it if I never try? And I've had people tell me to look at local theater stuff first... but I don't want to act in theater. I don't want to act in film. I want to be on TV. I mean, I will look for stuff in my local theater... And if a film part came around that I loved, I'd do it. But my home is TV.

I've always loved TV. And I spend so much time researching the production of my favorite shows. I mean... I spend hours researching the actors and watching everything they've done... including interviews. I spend hours watching interviews of the writers and watching other things they've written. And I pay attention to who directs what episodes... and who produces them. Pretty soon, I'm going to start a new blog... a TV review blog (I'll still keep this one and write in it frequently). But TV is such a passion of mine. It's time I take advantage of that.

People think I'm such a bum.. They think that I just sit here and watch with no thought. But that's wrong. I think about everything. About what's going on in the actor's ming, what the writers were thinking... who's the inspiration for this character... what that character would do if it had gone slightly differently... kind of like how in that episode of Scrubs where the butterfly lands on that woman's boobs and the guy JD is trying to save dies and then the butterfly lands on the fat guy and the whole episode is different.. the guy still dies but it's a whole different story... I think about that. Like what if So-and-so bumped into So-and-so? What if that drink had spilled another way and not gotten all over So-and-so's pants? And more than that... why did it go that way?

I don't think I have the talent to write... I'm not patient enough or creative enough... But I could be a damn good actress.

Thoughts? Please have some. Good or bad... I'd like to hear them.




EDIT Link to my new TV blog: here