Marc, RESCUE ME!!! (song of yesterday) Though you're uninvited (song of today)

Rescue Me by Aretha Franklin
Rescue me
Oh take me in your arms
Rescue me
I want your tender charms
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too

Come on and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
'Coz I need you, by my side
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Rescue me

Come on and take my heart
Take your love and conquer every part
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too

Come on and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
Come on baby and rescue me
'Coz I need you by my side
Can't you see that I'm lonely

Rescue me
Oh take me in your arms
Rescue me
I want your tender charms
'Coz I'm lonely and I'm blue
I need you and your love too
Come on and rescue me
Come on baby, take me baby, hold me baby, love me baby
Can't you see that I need you baby
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Rescue me

Come on and take my hand
Come on baby and be my man
Cuz I love you cuz I want you
Can't you see that I'm lonely?
take me baby
love me baby
need me baby
Can't you see that I'm lonely?

rescue me, rescue me.......

Yeah... so that's the song of yesterday... Its cold... and I have to swim this afternoon! *cries* !!!!! I don't want to swim!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah... SOOO... BLAH! I'm bored and tired and just blah... I hate my little sisters... I hate my best friend for being at boot camp for ROTC... I hate the seniors for leaving... I hate life! The only think I love in it is music! Music, Byrdie, and myself. Yep!

I've been thinking... I want to be in the pit! I can't do guard! at least not with the show next year... I want to play the music! I can't just do work to the music! I mean just not THIS music! I've been soooo exited all year for this! I just can't do it. Now I just got to tell JR... Yeah... so that's another problem with my life. Yeah, it sucks.

Oh and we are back friends with Michelle and Chloe... this can be a good or bad thing. All depending on how Michelle uses our friendship. If she does what she's been doing with it, its a bad thing. If she does what I hope she will, and if she is the cool Michelle we used to know, then its a good thing. Because then we are back with Chloe! And Lord knows I love her to death! ! haha....

Back to how much life sucks.... God I hate it! ERG!! I just hopw it gets better when Mallor gets back. Hopefully! Well, now I will find my song of today and post that too... BLAH!

Uninvited by Alanis Morissette
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight


Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight


Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight


I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

Half of that I see Marc singing to me... the other half I sing to him... Or at least one half I see/want Marc singing to me

My part
Marc's part
Both... meaing parts we sing together

Yep...

I can feel SO unsexy!

So Unsexy by Alanis Morissette

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

Yeah... so I think I will do like a song each day for a while! Because I want to...

I hate summer... I want school back... I want my friends... I want something to do... I want Band... I want Marc... And I want my B-Days back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its more than a feeling... it really is...

More Than A Feeling by Boston

I looked out this morning,
and the sun was gone
Turned on some music to start my day
Then lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes, and I slipped away

CHORUS
It's more than a feeling
When I hear that old song the used to play
And I begin dreamin'
Till I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away

So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky

CHORUS

When I'm tired and thinkin' cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away
She slipped away

CHORUS

That's the real version, Here's my version

I looked out this morning,
and the sun was gone
Turned on some music to start my day
Then lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes, and I slipped away

CHORUS
It's more than a feeling
When I hear that old song the used to play
And I begin dreamin'
Till I see Marc walk away
I see my Marc walkin' away

So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky

CHORUS

When I'm tired and thinkin' cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a guy I used to know
I closed my eyes and he slipped away
He slipped away

CHORUS

Yep... thats the song of now...

Ok, here it goes

I feel like a zombie right now...

So this entry will have two parts... one on graduation two on the good things in life

Part One : Graduation
Ok, so right before I left, I was looking for my shoes and I couldn't find them... That was a sign things were going to go wrong. When we got to school I was talking to Livia and I went upstairs got my flute, put it together and went to the gym because that's where my friends went to. A little over half the band went down there. Including older people. Then JR comes down and yells at us... apperently we weren't supposed to go down there yet. Then those stupid people who took their cases down there got bitched at. I wasn't one of them but I had to hear the bitching. Then we go down there and all of the sudden, my flute starts screwing up. It was going in an out of tune and just screwing up. I had to tighten a screw. So I did... then it got REALLY sharp. And when it does that, the screw has been tightened too much, so I loosened it a little, then while playing the thing came almost OUT!! So I had to play with the bar almost falling off. I fixed that and everything was fine, untill we were about to play America the Beautiful. the bar was litterally falling off, it wouldn't go back on, my screw had gone missing and all eyes were on the band. I fiixed that in a hurry. My god! My flute is a peice of SHIT! Yeah... then I cried when Mary Claire cave her adress and I cried when Marc walked by (both times) and when he got his diploma. I also cried when Jordan walked by (out) and when she got her diploma. I cried several other times too and after, I felt like a zombie, I felt dead. I didn't want to speak to anyone, but I wanted hugs. I was said "I'm sorry" to a million times. People realized I was hurt by this. Even those who may normally say "Zoë, you are pathetic!" said "I'm sorry Zoë. You'll move on." That was great. I felt like people cared about me.

Part Two : Enjoying the Good Things in Life
Ok, so on *thinks* what day was it? hmmm... Oh Thurday... So on Thursday, when dad came to get us, we went to Harris Teeter. While in the middle of the store, "Bad Day" cam on. I HAD to sing along! I realized then, sometimes what you need is to break down and sit in the middle of a public place and sing! People were walking by, starring, laughing, pointing and whatever else they were doing. I realized that sometimes, what you need is to do something like that. Enjoy the good things in life AKA music! Have fun! Do what YOU want! If people laugh, SO BE IT! ONe of the things touched on by SO many people in Graduation today, is "be yourself don't ever change for anyone and express yourself the way YOU want to. Don't be ashamed to do what you want. Do things because YOU want to. Don't do things because YOU don't wan to. Don't do them because OTHERS want you to. Don't not do things because OTHERS don't want you to. Do what YOU want and be YOURSELF" This is great advice I think everyone (not just the Grads) should take. Its what I've been saying for YEARS! And FINALLY, I see that others get, that's what you do when you get older, you be yourself more. You do what YOU want. That's what you SHOULD do! Back to enjoying the good things, so yesterday, at Red Lobster, "Wonderwall" came on... I like tripped over Igor and ran to the bathroom so I could hear it better. I was in there singing at the top of my lungs. I was singing as loud as I could. There as a lady in the bathroom who kept humming her own song. I knew she was trying to say "shut up" but I didn't care. When I got back to the table, I learned that Jessica loves "Wonderwall" and "Champane Supernova" just like I do. Those are HER two favorite Oasis songs too! It felt great to make common ground between us because of music. It just goes to show you how special music can be! OOH like on Friday, you know how we had no school, well I sat here in front of the computer and listened to music for HOURS! It was GREAT! I found all the songs I love, I listened to them, I sung my heart out, and I got weird stares from people walking by when I was blasting my music sitting outside in my front yard. HAHA! anyway, I just wanted to express how amazing music really is!

Now for a tribute to My Freshman Year AKA Marc Larance
I love you... I will miss you and I will NEVER forget you. I send much love and I hope you are very successfull through life. I can't wait 'till you maybe come back to visit next year. And I just want you to know that I will NEVER EVER EVER (and infinty times NEVER EVER) forget you. You will always be My Freshman Year. And I know that in years to come, when I look back at freshman year, your face will be the first thing I see. When I look back at my freshman yearbook, and I get to your picure (any of them), I will cry, scream, laugh, shake my head, flail around, roll my eyes at myself, and of course, I'll stare. I'll think of how much I wanted you and how much it hurt to see you go. I'll think about how much I love you and loved you. And I'll remember. I'll remember the times I felt SO happy to see your face. I'll remember the times I just wanted to push you off the face of the Earth, and I'll remember Marching Season this year. I'll remember it all. And I just want to say, Goodbye.

Rent song of now : Goodbye
Rent quote of now :I can't believe he's (Marc) gone, I can't believe you're (Mike) going, I can't believe this family (the people I know and love) must die. I can't believe this is... GOODBYE!

I wish I could just say my last goodbye

Wishes
By: Superchick

The saddest thing is you could be anything that you could want
We could have been everything
But now weâre not
Now itâs not anything at all

The hardest part was getting this close to you
And giving up this dream I built with you
A fairytale that isnât coming true
Youâve got some growing up to do

CHORUS:
I wish we could have worked it out
I wish I didnât have these doubts
I wish I didnât have to wonder just what you are doing now

I wish I didnât know inside
That it wonât work out for you and I
I wish that I could stop this wishing
And just say my last goodbye

After all the things you put me through
Tell me why Iâm still in love with you
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call

You broke my heart
Iâm taking it back from you
Iâm taking back the life that I gave to you
Life goes on before and after you
Iâve got some growing up to doâ�
CHORUS

Itâs time I said my last goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Itâs time I said my last goodbyeâ�
CHORUS

Itâs time I said my last goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
Itâs time I said my last goodbye

Yeah... so I jacked that song from Lisa's blog. But its like... OMG! Ya know? I feel really depressed right now and I probably will feel depressed for a while. At least I have my friends... not! The only one I really feel like I have is Mallory and she's ALREADY tired of hearing about Marc. ERG! yeah... so...

Now I know y'all wanna know how my first two exams were! So...
Geo: The first half was like "why did I even study?! THIS IS EASY!!!!" then you got to the second half and you were like "WTF?! It can go from THAT fucking EASY to THIS fucking HARD in like 2 questions?! WTF?!?!?!?!" Yeah...
French: I knew this stuff. I studdied for SOOO long! I was SOOO confident! Then I blanked out after the section of the test that every question exept two were about a Marc. I did get distracted by the name... just the fucking name! GOD! WHY DO I HAVE TO LIKE HIM! This is where the "After all the things you put me through, Tell me why Iâm still in love with you" part of that song comes in. But in that section of the test... I did put a heart around EVERY "Marc." haha! M. Dubois saw that and started laughing... then he smiled and shook his head at me and whispered "Zo��, Zo��, Zo��... What are we ever to do with you?" HAHA! I really don't know... what are y'all ever to do with me? haha!

I'm tired... and depressed... and I have this big feeling in my tummy that bad things are going to happen in the near future. I also have a feeling its going to be a long summer trying to get over Marc who will be in Europe so there will be no chance of running into him.. which can be considered a good thing or a bad thing. I don't know... It's just my fantasies will not be able to exist/come true. Sad... I am sad... I am pathetic and my life is too. I guess I should try and look on the bright side... Actually... Screw it! Why even try? Why even try to look on the good side of things? That was Grandmother's thing... She was always the one to help me do that... Its times like this when I want her back REALLY bad! I want my Grandmother!!!!! *tear*

Well now here's something to be happy about... I don't have but ONE exam tomorrow because band ROCKS! Only downside of that is the band exam is Graduation... Meaning Band is the reason I have to SEE AND WATCH Marc REALLY leave... *sighs* My life sucks! And it has for a while... and it will for a while... Damn... why does my life have to suck so bad?! ERG!!!!!!!!! Oh well... I think I'll go up and see what Maya's doing... Thanks for reading this little bit of me complaing about my life! I will have another entry up tomorrow specificly for my Study Skills exam... I'm gonna do a timeline! FROM a BLOG ENTRY!!! WOOT WOOT!!! haha!

Blah!